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Men, please stop boasting – sex is more than just a numbers game: Romance : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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Men, please stop boasting – sex is more than just a numbers game

By: gifted |Time : August 03, 2018, 10:10:44 PM
Why does having very many sexual partners mark men out as great in bed? Researchers from Glasgow University analysed the responses of 15,000 British men and women to a sex habits survey. Put simplistically, and allowing for exceptions, it seems that women are still inclined to go low when counting sexual partners, while men are more likely to go high. Which should shock precisely no one.

Presumably, women who go low are aware of how promiscuous females are routinely judged more harshly than their male counterparts. Double standards aside, men are more likely to boast about high, sometimes very high, numbers of sexual partners. On Love Island, young men claiming to have big numbers (sometimes hundreds) of partners were treated like Greek gods, with barely any comment or even a suspicious question or two. (Such as: “How come you all have numbers that neatly end in a nought?”) It still seems accepted that the higher the number, the more successful, desirable and alpha a lover a man must be. But does that actually make sense?

This isn’t a “men can be slags too” article. (“Women aren’t slags either” would be more helpful.) I’ve just never understood this idea that the greater the number of partners someone has, the more likely he is to be “good” in bed. Too often, such trophy-hunting boasts don’t even seem to be about an honest, primal, monogamy-rejecting need for constant variety, rather a (very intriguing) urge to impress other men. After all, what woman is likely to be swooning at the thought of being Lucky Miss 199?

Regardless of motive, even if the numbers are true, it doesn’t necessarily follow that these men are great performers – it could just mean that they’re good at getting people into bed, which is not to be discounted, but it’s another skill set entirely. If anything, for a youngish man to get these high numbers, presumably there wouldn’t really be much time for relationships, so they’d be having a lot of one-night stands, which – how to put this delicately? – could become a little formulaic. Which means that men playing a high-numbers game actually risk being bad in bed because they’re just doing the same things all the time, just with different women and not “developing their repertoire”, as it were. While they’re having a lot of sex, they’re not necessarily becoming as experienced (or experimental) as other people in long-term relationships.

Of course, I could be completely wrong and all men who boast of sleeping with astounding numbers of women have done themselves proper proud every single time. However, the next time a man in a long-term relationship find himself glumly listening to someone else brag about his innumerable conquests, he could bear in mind that it might not all be good news. Similarly, any men out there who talk up their numbers, beware – women may be listening, and forming their own conclusions.


https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/29/men-stop-boasting-sex-is-much-more-than-just-a-numbers-game

Re: Men, please stop boasting – sex is more than just a numbers game

By: dayan (M) |Time : August 04, 2018, 03:50:40 AM
Quote
Presumably, women who go low are aware of how promiscuous females are routinely judged more harshly than their male counterparts. Double standards aside, men are more likely to boast about high, sometimes very high, numbers of sexual partners. On Love Island, young men claiming to have big numbers (sometimes hundreds) of partners were treated like Greek gods, with barely any comment or even a suspicious question or two. (Such as: “How come you all have numbers that neatly end in a nought?”) It still seems accepted that the higher the number, the more successful, desirable and alpha a lover a man must be. But does that actually make sense?

This statement must be understood to be averages because there are wide differences between people both men and women about how to view sexual escapades. The variation is also cultural, ethnic, social and even religious.

In the part of the world where I grew up, a man who has been around (who has slept with many women) is not viewed with respect talkless of acclamation. On the contrary they are hated on by both men and women.
The men call them "mkpi" (meaning billy goat), while the women just avoid them because they are not expected to be good marriage prospects.

But, even among other groups (broader humanity), the way a sexually virile man is viewed would vary greatly from one individual to another and from one society or community to another.

Even the way a woman that has been with many men is viewed varies greatly, too.

With the rise of social media, some of the women who have essentially proven themselves to be whores, are more popular than the reserved ones. The practical whores have more followers than their decent counterparts.

So, the notion that women under-quote their sexual escapades is not always true these days.
There are no double standards in the social media driven world between the two sexes. 

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