Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum - When Love Becomes Just A Part of It
Welcome, Guest.
Did you miss your activation email?
/ Unread / Replies / PM / Contact Date: December 12, 2017, 10:47:40 PM

Nigeria Daily Log - FORUMS

Our App is Fun To Use!

When Love Becomes Just A Part of It: Romance : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum (204 views)

When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By naijarian (F)November 21, 2016, 09:48:04 PM
Is love enough?
Does love really conquer all?

The romantic side of anyone would answer in affirmative but the side that is real isn't convinced. Love is indeed a powerful emotion, but is it powerful enough to conquer incompatibility? Is its magnitude enough to overcome our dreams and beliefs, especially those that seem to clash? Can it overcome the differences in our lifestyles? Suppose he wants to settle down and raise a family in his birth city and she is committed to human rights work that requires her to travel the world.

What should happen then?

The easiest answer is going to be based on sacrifices, vis-a-vis one partner to sacrifice his own for the other. But really, can we really do that? Pay that price for love. Are we ready to trade in our dreams and ambitions for someone else's? Should we be willing to compromise our values so as to uphold another's? Can we surrender our very happiness for a wider choice?

What happens when the obstacles get darker? There are mla lot of people who fall deeply in love with another who is not only wrong for them, but can seriously hurt them, physically and mentally. The person you love may be abusive and selfish. They may suffer from a weird form of addiction. They may even have some kind of mental illness that is beyond your tolerance level. They may just bring out the worst side of you.

The truth can sometimes be sad, but it is what it is. Love is not the all it takes to make relationships work. Often times, two people will be in love with their whole hearts, and still at the end, they'd have to let each other go.

This doesn't mean that their love wasn’t real or deep enough. It certainly does not make their time together a waste. We can learn and grow and even gain from loving someone without needing them to be our last.

 Love, in itself, is the most rewarding thing you can engage your time and energy on. Just because you don’t end up with a certain person doesn’t mean you should never have allowed yourself to fall in love with the person.

The trouble, of course, comes at that moment of separation. At that time, everything seem to change. Love changes us, yes. You have loved, and now you are not the same person. Then, it is over.

How do we move on from there?

It is painful to let go, thankfully however, we do grow from pain even more profoundly than we do from love. We do not always realize this but that's the truth. Break-ups are very hard, but they can be viewed as valuable life lessons. Sometimes we learn more  when we break up, than being in love itself. We may even learn more about ourselves from the loss of a relationship.
 
The choice of love is a brave one to make. As it is, when you are not sure where it'll end or how soon it'll end and still go for it, then you are indeed brave. Love them anyway. You are sure to become better for having risked it.

But note, it is never enough to just fall in love. Love is only a part of it, a big part though but a part still.
If the other parts are not strong enough, it affects love itself and then the relationship crumbles.

We feed our love with other things so that it may last longer. Even after having done this, it may still be a struggle to keep the fire of compassion burning.
But knowing that love is only a part, and acknowledging same, is the first step towards its survival.

Passion
Trust
Faith
Honesty
Tolerance
Financial capability
Sense of self

All these are needed to add to the love story we tell. How we go about adding them is up to us. What degree of each do we want to add is also up to us.


Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

When Love Becomes Just A Part of It
« on: November 21, 2016, 09:48:04 PM »

Re: When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By dayan (M)November 22, 2016, 10:37:10 AM
Quote
We feed our love with other things so that it may last longer. Even after having done this, it may still be a struggle to keep the fire of compassion (Passion?) burning.
But knowing that love is only a part, and acknowledging same, is the first step towards its survival.


Passion
Trust
Faith
Honesty
Tolerance
Financial capability
Sense of self


To address this topic, let me first say that by "love" in this context I mean both "Amore" AND Agape because each would serve specific purpose in the relationship.
Passion for example falls under Amore, while Tolerance, Faith, and Trust falls under Agape ... and so forth.

To love effectively, one must first determine to love, else it cannot endure. Once you find that person to spend your life with, DETERMINE that you are in it for life no matter what (within reason of course), unless it threatens your very life. This means sacrificing oneself . The sacrifice has to be both ways for it to work, but it can still work even if only one party did it provided the other doesn't take it for granted or exploit it.

Passion (Amore) can be sustained for a lifetime, but only if the couple are of the same worldview. Once one of the couple is not similarly interested, the more passionate of the couple is likely to stray. I've seen a man who provides everything for his wife, and basically serves her like a "house boy" even though he is the bread winner. Yet the woman always maintain a long chain of men "friends". When confronted with the issue, the woman would say that her husband loves her but is not passionate -he is "mechanical" according to her. Some equally "mechanical" woman would certainly not mind the man, but the man won't be interested in such women who lack passion! 
This couple has been married for 23 years and still happy and powering!
Their case demonstrates that no two love is the same. Each love has its own "fingerprint", and as such must be treated as unique.
Each couple in love must identify (very quickly into the relationship) what is important to them.

The list above is almost perfect. However some couple might not even care about some of it.
Love is a personal vehicle that a couple design and build for themselves alone. They design it taking into consideration their unique idiosyncrasies as individuals. That is why it is never advisable to intervene in marital or love related squabbles. 

So to answer your question -Is love enough? Answer is Yes of course.


Re: When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By GideonNovember 22, 2016, 11:44:33 AM
To me,...Love is enough only If the two parties are ready to sacrifice their dreams,values etc for each other... If one sacrifices and the other party does not,...there shall be problem even with love in the relationship.. Self sacrifice for each other can influence passion of love


Re: When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By naijarian (F)November 22, 2016, 12:17:42 PM
I don't think love is enough though. It is just a part of it. If not, why do Two people seemingly head over heels suddenly become sworn enemies after some times spent together? Could it be that the love they said to have shared wasn't real enough? Or did it burn out? And if it burnt out, why, since love is enough, it shouldn't have.

Tolerance is a part that is associated with love but it is not entirely in the same category as love itself. Ability to tolerate any excess makes love strong. Passion can also burn out, you know Dayan.

It is not sacrifice, Gideon. It is compromise. Sacrifice is when it is selfless, and that is not always attached to love. I can love you and still hold on to my job as a banker than be a housewife. It still doesn't mean I don't love you though. I can only compromise and close work early.

Agape is bringing faith into it. And yeah, amore, is best achieved with agape but really, does both really coexist these days?

A pastor just killed his wife, supposedly though. Were they not in love and was he not aware of the agape? The agape that is supposed to make amore more meaningful?


Re: When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By dayan (M)November 27, 2016, 03:00:39 AM
I don't think love is enough though. It is just a part of it. If not, why do Two people seemingly head over heels suddenly become sworn enemies after some times spent together? Could it be that the love they said to have shared wasn't real enough? Or did it burn out? And if it burnt out, why, since love is enough, it shouldn't have.

Most people who think they are in love are actually not even remotely close to it.
They are mostly in-lust, not love. But even when love happens, often it is one sided.
I was in love (real love) with a girl when I was in elementary four. Even though she ended up marrying another guy obviously because she didn't love me as I loved her, I still loved her. Should I have pursued her and begged her to marry me? Nope. LOVE MUST BE TWO WAYS FOR IT TO BE VIABLE. So, often a person can love another that does not return it in equal measure. Wisdom dictates that a marriage must not happen in such cases, but people barely pay attention.

Quote
Tolerance is a part that is associated with love but it is not entirely in the same category as love itself. Ability to tolerate any excess makes love strong. Passion can also burn out, you know Dayan.

In cases of true love, passion NEVER burns out because the couple can recreate it over and over and over till they age and die.

Quote
It is not sacrifice, Gideon. It is compromise. Sacrifice is when it is selfless, and that is not always attached to love. I can love you and still hold on to my job as a banker than be a housewife. It still doesn't mean I don't love you though. I can only compromise and close work early.

Agape is bringing faith into it. And yeah, amore, is best achieved with agape but really, does both really coexist these days?

A pastor just killed his wife, supposedly though. Were they not in love and was he not aware of the agape? The agape that is supposed to make amore more meaningful?


Agape is the guarantor for Amore in "love".
Amore can never endure if Agape is missing.
Amore will bring passion; Agape will guard the rear in case something goes wrong with the passion.
Amore makes love and marriage "blissful", while Agape protects the bliss from the storms of this world.


Re: When Love Becomes Just A Part of It

By naijarian (F)November 27, 2016, 09:13:46 PM
Most people who think they are in love are actually not even remotely close to it.
They are mostly in-lust, not love. But even when love happens, often it is one sided.
I was in love (real love) with a girl when I was in elementary four. Even though she ended up marrying another guy obviously because she didn't love me as I loved her, I still loved her. Should I have pursued her and begged her to marry me? Nope. LOVE MUST BE TWO WAYS FOR IT TO BE VIABLE. So, often a person can love another that does not return it in equal measure. Wisdom dictates that a marriage must not happen in such cases, but people barely pay attention.

In cases of true love, passion NEVER burns out because the couple can recreate it over and over and over till they age and die.

Agape is the guarantor for Amore in "love".
Amore can never endure if Agape is missing.
Amore will bring passion; Agape will guard the rear in case something goes wrong with the passion.
Amore makes love and marriage "blissful", while Agape protects the bliss from the storms of this world.
I hear/read you.
Thank God for agape then


0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. reply

web site traffic statistics