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How To Get A Divorcee’s Attention: Romance : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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How To Get A Divorcee’s Attention

By: Gideon |Time : October 04, 2018, 01:36:21 AM
In the dating game, there are different categories of people. While the world is familiar with the singles, it takes building a relationship with the divorced a little way especially in this part of the world. This is because of the different inclinations and convictions that exists.

However, if we begin to picture those who are divorced as people who got into relationships that turned sour and couldn’t control it before deciding to end it, it will change our perspectives on divorcee dating game.

While there are some who rule out completely on love, some might want to start all-over but because of their past might be reluctant or scared to.

These people usually have people who are attracted to them and would love to have something more than a friendship but don’t know how to.

If you belong to this group, here is how you do this:

Timing
Like the Bible says, there is a time for everything including a time to start delicate conversations. You have to be on the lookout to know and understand when the person is receptive to listen and that includes when they are overwhelmed by their love for you. Think of how many times you got something just because someone was happy.

Trust
People have trust issues. However, someone who is coming out of a divorce might be on the extreme end. A person such as this needs to know that he can trust you enough before there will be any form of commitment. So, start with communication building and be open to learning their love language.

With the right words and a good relationship, there will be a softening of stance on the person’s view on commitment.
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Re: How To Get A Divorcee’s Attention

By: Gideon |Time : October 04, 2018, 01:44:28 AM
Although personally, I won't try to get attraction from a divorcee but I feel the trust factor should be high considering that he/she has been disappointed by the loved one.

Re: How To Get A Divorcee’s Attention

By: dayan (M) |Time : October 04, 2018, 04:27:32 AM
The article raised more questions than answers.
However, here's my 2 kobo view on it.

The situation differs significantly between the sexes and parts of Nigeria.

For starters male divorces behave differently compared to female ones.

Divorce stigmatizes a woman more than a man in parts of Nigeria. So, it would be easier (all things being equal) for a man to move on faster than a woman. Secondly, the men don't get saddled with baby custody unless the ex-wife is judged an unfit mother by the divorce court. So, he has less "burden" and may be more open to date again faster.

The women (depending on the part of Nigeria) may not be so quick to (1) attract an eligible (read marriage intended) suitor and, (2) may not find it easy to trust a man because she may be nursing a feeling of having been betrayed and abandoned by her ex.

If she is from a part of Nigeria where divorce has little or no social stigma, she can find a suitor very quickly, and move on. In fact in certain parts of Nigeria, divorced women marry faster than single ones if they have at least one child because the men know that they are fertile. Single and never-married girls are black boxes. You never know what is inside in terms of fertility!

However in my part of Nigeria, a divorced woman with children is looked at funny, and people tend to only want to have sex with them and move on. Only on fewer occasions would you come across a divorced woman with children who found a suitor quickly.

And in some cases, these women end up in abusive relationships in their second marriages because the second husband may (in his mind) tag her a "second hand" and treat her as such. Men can be so mean and vicious with divorced women in my part of Nigeria. That is partly why divorce is lesser in that part. Women think to themselves that the devil they know is better than...

So, to attract a divorced woman in my part is relatively easier because she wants to remarry quickly. All you have to do is tell her that you want to marry her. That's all. If she likes you she would not waste time in accepting. She may even lower her standards just to get remarried and settle down again.

But to attract a divorced man for marriage may not be that easy because he thinks to himself "why bother with another woman again when I have all the kids I want". I know a lot of men from my part that did just that. They are fine with staying single for the rest of their lives because they can do whatever they want, and lose nothing.
So to attract a divorced Igbo man, try to find out what made him leave his first wife. Whatever that is, try to present yourself as the OPPOSITE of that thing. If it was promiscuity, try to present yourself as a reserved one-man kind of woman. And so on...

You may need to pursue him though until he succumbs (if he liked you in the first place). Do not throw yourself at him and do not give him sex freely. Make him need you and then build love from there.

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