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Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!: Romance : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: Gideon |Time : November 09, 2018, 02:31:04 AM
It is clear that a lot needs to be changed about the way many Nigerian relationships and marriages are being conducted. Chief among what needs to be changed, particularly as it relates to this piece, is the undue relevance placed on a woman’s ability to cook before being considered enough ‘wife material’.
No sugar coating needed; it is plain stupid, archaic, and so, so backward to attach such importance on this skill to the point of letting a great babe go just because she is not-so-great at whipping up meals for you at the snap of your fingers.
And as insignificant as this issue may sound to many of you reading this, it is still a very necessary one to talk about, given that in the minds of many more men, a woman’s ability to make meals is still a determinant of how wifely she is.

Understandably, because of the traditional approach to marriages and home keeping that has been in place for such a long time, women are more likely to have better cooking skills than men. Society has been so constructed by years and years of systemic family organization. It is undoubtedly the way of life – man bears the financial responsibilities, woman takes care of the domestic things on the home front. Cut and dried.
But that was only good for yesteryears. Not anymore.
The family system painted above has been shown inappropriate and defective time and again, especially in the face of a changing generation. Here we are, sitting squarely in the age of millennials where women are taking on more important roles in society than ever before,
conversations that used to be suppressed before are being openly had, and shared responsibility on the home front has never been more… shared.

These days, men are being told to get more involved and more hands-on in their homes. Women are being told to pitch in with more financial muscle » than previous generations of women had to flex. Everything is turning on its head, and for good.
Back to this issue of cooking; apart from the fact that this is one of the changes that society’s dynamism necessitates, treating women as if they were designed from heaven to be cooks and champions of domestic work is also wrong because the ability to cook and do domestic work is learnt and everyone can do it!
Logically, before a guy marries, he still finds a way to do his laundry and get himself fed, no matter how busy he is. If it was possible while he was a bachelor, it is still possible when such guy marries.
Cooking is a basic skill that comes from the instinct to eat! How then can that be something to place such massive importance on when you want to choose who to marry?
There’s more to marriage than meals and domestic activities, and surely, there is more to a woman than her abilities to do these. Add to that the fact that cooking can be learnt at any stage, and it becomes even more preposterous that men exist in 2018 who still have a woman’s ability to cook so highly placed on the list of things they want to see in a potential partner.
In all honesty, you will hardly find a Nigerian woman above 20 who does not know how to make good meals. We are sure from experience that Nigerian parenting places so much premium on that and it’s actually such a good, good thing.
What we need now as a society is for parents to be as intentional with teaching the male child how to cook as they are about teaching the female child. And also to stop linking these lessons to what the female children will have to do at their husband's house.
If sustained transgenerationally, this system will erode, once and for all, the belief that women are good for meals while also encouraging men to look for more qualitative reasons to wife a woman rather than these cheesy wife material qualities that should have no place in a progressive society.
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Re: Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: Gideon |Time : November 09, 2018, 02:36:53 AM
I support the tone of the write-up!... Whenever I overheard someone saying his woman got to be a good cook before choosing her as wife,I just laughed.... The society or world we are in now has gone beyond culinary skills as basic criteria for a partner... There are more in selecting a partner than just cooking skills.

Re: Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: dayan (M) |Time : November 09, 2018, 06:02:35 AM
I beg to disagree!

Yes, there was a time I would have agreed with the view in this article, but after watching as societies in parts of the world disintegrated into utter social chaos with regards to roles in the home, I repented of such belief.

Societies don't become chaotic overnight... it is usually a gradual process that starts with little things, like who cooks in the FAMILY (note that I didn't say "home").

To not be misunderstood, I believe that a man (read husband) in the family should be able to throw together some quick meal for the kids in emergence situation, the role to do the main course meal in the home should be reserved for the wife (or the mother) of the family.

Human social systems are very fragile in the face of constant barrage by "experts" and "modernists" who want to dismantle practices and value systems that lasted for thousands of years and proven effective in granting stability and rectitude to the family.

Ironically, the women who buy into these dubious narratives are the half educated ones, because the professors and highly educated women that I know of all cook for their families or supervise the cooking themselves.
They do so because they have enough knowledge and understanding of how the human male mind works.
They do not buy the hype.

Let me propose an experiment here. Let there be two equally beautiful women who are equally valued in desirability (education, career prospects, good conduct, etc). Then let it be that one of them can and is ready to cook for her man (or family) while the other is not able or do not want to.

I can bet my last kobo that if these two women want to attract and marry the same given man; ANY GIVEN MAN; that man would gravitate towards the woman that can (or is willing to) cook.
He may even be a cook himself by profession, but a wise man would still need that backup cook for a wife.

Men CONSTANTLY leave their wives of many years to go away with a woman, and some would ignorantly assume that the woman used "juju" to capture him. In most cases however, the woman only COOKED A DAMN GOOD FOOD for the man, and he leaves with her! Simple.  :- :))

It is like saying that a woman would stay with a man who "loves her"; ie, a man who would carry her and not let her feet touch the ground, lick her up, opens car doors for her, take any insult from her, but is not able to sexually satisfy her in bed; and then you argue that she should stay with him? lol  :))
She would leave with a man who even beats her up daily and who abuses her... but a man who can "hammer " her well. Some "Good men" constantly find out that certain "bad guy" fathered some or all of their children. Yep, it happens! These things are NATURE. They are what they are. Take it or leave it.

My candid advice to any woman who wants to cover all her marital basis and be sure to maintain an upper-hand in the art of attracting and keeping men whether married to them or not -> LEARN HOW TO COOK A FINGER LICKER!

Enuff said!  ;D ;D 8)

Re: Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : November 11, 2018, 07:17:18 AM
Dayan has opened my eyes to more... Though I share his view on this, his comment has added more than I knew.

When our mothers wanted to gain "favors" from our fathers, they cook irresistible delicacies before tendering their petitions. We should not even ask why, we know.

In recent time, Chioma got assurance (in the form of a multimillion Naira porsche) and she's a celebrity now(big time). Mayorkun, one of Davido's guys said she got Davido through her culinary skills, especially the way she prepares her amala.

Re: Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: alagbe003 (M) |Time : November 11, 2018, 10:52:19 AM
The fastest way to a man's heart is through the rib cage(stomach). It is good for a man and also the woman to be able to cook, but the responsibility of taking care of the home is majorly a woman's duty.. You can consult the bible and other religious book. The world became chaotic immediately women started claiming equality, a man was created as the head of the family and not the other way round. A man can assist a woman in the kitchen, likewise a woman can assist a man financially in the marriage. Woman is created for man and not the other way round.

Re: Guys, Enough! Cooking is not what makes a woman a wife!

By: dayan (M) |Time : November 14, 2018, 07:31:00 AM
Dayan has opened my eyes to more... Though I share his view on this, his comment has added more than I knew.

When our mothers wanted to gain "favors" from our fathers, they cook irresistible delicacies before tendering their petitions. We should not even ask why, we know.

In recent time, Chioma got assurance (in the form of a multimillion Naira porsche) and she's a celebrity now(big time). Mayorkun, one of Davido's guys said she got Davido through her culinary skills, especially the way she prepares her amala.

I rest my case!  ;D :))

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