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You don't have many real friends on Facebook, deal with it!: Random Thoughts : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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You don't have many real friends on Facebook, deal with it!

By: theorem |Time : August 09, 2016, 09:04:12 AM
It is obvious that Facebook friends are just people we added to our friends list - a good number of them nearly total strangers.

An optimistic figure would be that about 1 or 2% are people we know in person -the rest are just people we deceive ourselves pretending that we have anything to do with. The whole thing has grown to a psychosis whereby people go out of their ways to amass thousands of friends on Facebook, but have next to zero contact or connection with them in real life. Apart from occasional birthday wishes (which these days include those for spouses and children), there is hardly any form of interaction between people and their Facebook friends. 

Think about it for a second. When was the last time you received a chat or messenger from your thousand Facebook friends inquiring after your well-being or that of your family?

Hardly ever happens.

What you find is more of join-the-group mentality – people just join others to either give a wish, or like a picture; they fear being singled out. Some simply amass the friendships for no apparent reasons other than to feed a latent innate desire to feel loved or wanted.

Some have even elevated the Facebook friendship drive to an art or craft, and play the whole falsehood like an orchestra. They maintain a set of tactics whereby they fawn at and play the groupie on supposedly “famous” individuals. The ridiculousness has even approached levels whereby some accepted friendship requests are greeted with a “thank you for accepting me” note! Now one starts to imagine the type of friendship that can exist between such peoples. Most likely a master/servant, or a star/groupie one, no doubt.

But by far the most disturbing behavior these days is that some of these people with thousands of Facebook friends have started to believe that it conveys on them some sort of real life status. A closer examination, however, would reveal something else.

Let's assume, for analogy, that a person with 4000 Facebook friends received 200 birthday wishes, and another with 100 friends received 25 birthday wishes; the fact remains that the first person received only 5% birthday wishes while the second person received a whopping 25% birthday wishes from his friends! To match up to the second person, the first person would needed to receive 1000 birthday wishes, which of course would hardly ever happen.

Yes, some people (mainly politicians and extremely rich people) have thousands of real life friends, but a good number of their serious friends are not even connected to them on Facebook. Some of my friends swore never to join Facebook, and an overwhelming majority of my real life friends are not my Facebook friends.

The truth is that friendship is like a universal tool built according to the specific need of individuals in specific countries or regions of the world. A hammer in the lands of the Eskimos, or Pygmies where average adult male height may not be more than 5ft 5 inches, for example, may not be the same size as a hammer in Northern Europe where average male height may be above six feet. But in each region or nation, the hammer (regardless of the size) gets the expected job done.

What sense then does it make for a Pygmy to walk around with a heavy and oversized Scandinavian hammer? It may swell his ego for a while, but soon the unnecessarily burden, and the false sense of self worth would prove too burdensome.  Self deceit is one of the worst sins one can commit against oneself.


Though I have to admit that it is not easy to keep the number of Facebook friends to reasonable and sane levels, reason being that near or total strangers keep sending friendship requests and, in some cases, one might remotely know them and not want to hurt them by rejecting their request; still, it should get to a stage where one said enough.

So, if you have thousands of Facebook friends, it may be time to prune them to your true size and make them really useful to your life, unless of course you have business reasons for keeping them.

Re: You don't have many real friends on Facebook, deal with it!

By: alagbe003 (M) |Time : August 14, 2016, 07:01:27 PM
It is obvious that Facebook friends are just people we added to our friends list - a good number of them nearly total strangers.

An optimistic figure would be that about 1 or 2% are people we know in person -the rest are just people we deceive ourselves pretending that we have anything to do with. The whole thing has grown to a psychosis whereby people go out of their ways to amass thousands of friends on Facebook, but have next to zero contact or connection with them in real life. Apart from occasional birthday wishes (which these days include those for spouses and children), there is hardly any form of interaction between people and their Facebook friends. 

Think about it for a second. When was the last time you received a chat or messenger from your thousand Facebook friends inquiring after your well-being or that of your family?

Hardly ever happens.

What you find is more of join-the-group mentality – people just join others to either give a wish, or like a picture; they fear being singled out. Some simply amass the friendships for no apparent reasons other than to feed a latent innate desire to feel loved or wanted.

Some have even elevated the Facebook friendship drive to an art or craft, and play the whole falsehood like an orchestra. They maintain a set of tactics whereby they fawn at and play the groupie on supposedly “famous” individuals. The ridiculousness has even approached levels whereby some accepted friendship requests are greeted with a “thank you for accepting me” note! Now one starts to imagine the type of friendship that can exist between such peoples. Most likely a master/servant, or a star/groupie one, no doubt.

But by far the most disturbing behavior these days is that some of these people with thousands of Facebook friends have started to believe that it conveys on them some sort of real life status. A closer examination, however, would reveal something else.

Let's assume, for analogy, that a person with 4000 Facebook friends received 200 birthday wishes, and another with 100 friends received 25 birthday wishes; the fact remains that the first person received only 5% birthday wishes while the second person received a whopping 25% birthday wishes from his friends! To match up to the second person, the first person would needed to receive 1000 birthday wishes, which of course would hardly ever happen.

Yes, some people (mainly politicians and extremely rich people) have thousands of real life friends, but a good number of their serious friends are not even connected to them on Facebook. Some of my friends swore never to join Facebook, and an overwhelming majority of my real life friends are not my Facebook friends.

The truth is that friendship is like a universal tool built according to the specific need of individuals in specific countries or regions of the world. A hammer in the lands of the Eskimos, or Pygmies where average adult male height may not be more than 5ft 5 inches, for example, may not be the same size as a hammer in Northern Europe where average male height may be above six feet. But in each region or nation, the hammer (regardless of the size) gets the expected job done.

What sense then does it make for a Pygmy to walk around with a heavy and oversized Scandinavian hammer? It may swell his ego for a while, but soon the unnecessarily burden, and the false sense of self worth would prove too burdensome.  Self deceit is one of the worst sins one can commit against oneself.


Though I have to admit that it is not easy to keep the number of Facebook friends to reasonable and sane levels, reason being that near or total strangers keep sending friendship requests and, in some cases, one might remotely know them and not want to hurt them by rejecting their request; still, it should get to a stage where one said enough.

So, if you have thousands of Facebook friends, it may be time to prune them to your true size and make them really useful to your life, unless of course you have business reasons for keeping them.

Re: You don't have many real friends on Facebook, deal with it!

By: alagbe003 (M) |Time : August 14, 2016, 07:03:34 PM
We need to be real to ourself. One of the worst crime that can be commited to oneself is self deceit

Re: You don't have many real friends on Facebook, deal with it!

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : August 22, 2018, 01:49:28 PM
Well, numerous Facebook friends give us a wider range of audience when we have broadcasts... We don’t pay for their accommodation, we only endure some inappropriate posts by some gullible friends and put up with some inauspicious messages from some others.

Just like the end of the article states... It's good for business to have huge following on Facebook.

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