I recently attended a youths’ programme where one of the speakers said something quite intriguing- he said, “…courtship is not a period of courting, it is a period of pretence!”- Not like this is my problem at this time but I found this revelation to be interesting.There is much truth to this statement, both guys and girls pretend to an extent during courtship until years into marriage when their true self begins to unveil.No wonder, you hear such things as, “I never knew he was like this when we were dating”, “I didn’t know she is capable of such…”.I know well that a guy would usually act super-nice, he will take her out to the movies, to the beach, to the latest eat-out spot and possibly anywhere one could hang-out, he promises her the earth to the high heavens but fast- forward few years into marriage, a guy would hardly ever take the girl out to ‘Mr. Biggs’ for ice-cream.The girl on the other hand would do all in her power to be seen as the ‘only girl in the world’. She ensures she is at her best behaviour at every point in time of meeting. She ensures her hair and make-up is on point, that she has the right dress on, she wants to look perfect, like an angel sent from heaven. Few years into marriage, probably not so much.So the question now is, who pretends more during courtship?
We have gotten two opinions now, does that means ladies pretend most? Does that implies guys doesn't pretend? No. Yet to conclude, more opinions are welcome. Let hear your view.... Because I know if you're pretending in relationship you can't pretend in marriage.
. True talk, Come on guys in the house, Bring it on lets hear.
for where? Na now they'll go mute.
Lolz... Guyz are not mute. They get your back. Naijarian do you believe that ladies pretend most?
***clears throats***Ladies and gentlemen of nigerialog, both ghosts visitors and commentators My name is Naijarian And I am here to clarify some things which may eventually shed more light on why I think pretence is a male thing than a female thing.***walks up to Adenosine and pulls his shirt*** bros, may I ask why men think they'll borrow money, they don't even have, to go on a first date with a girl just to 'impess' which to me simply means to 'deceive'. Now ladies are very calculative and we think things through unlike what many of the other gender like to think. Why?Ladies know that going all out in order to pretend is a waste of time, especially if they like the dude. And what the guys call pretence on the part of the ladies isn't pretence at all, its just called 'putting the ryt foot forward.' When a Lady is portrayed as a pretender, please take a critical look at the accurser. Most times, it'll be a pained loser who had expected something the lady didn't end up giving and they'll start crying foul. As much as I'd like to say pretence or lack thereof isn't a gender thing per see but one side do it more than the other. One side deliberately knowingly (dudes) do it for an expected outcome but when some of the other side 'supposedly' do it, it mostly just happens. And she endeavours to clear the air on it when the time is right. I see no reason why a lady would pretend to be in a relationship, why? Cos he is rich? Or she'd like a plan b? Naaaaa!!!Guys do that mostly. They have a lady and keep several others, just in case. Anyone can be anything to anyone for any reason, so what are we saying? If I like you and I know you like a particular thing I don't have as a personality trait, I'd develop it. Why not? Is that pretence or adding to my options.Truth be told, it is wrong to look out for perfection in an individual cos it is unfair and it makes people do what they normally don't do and herein lies the problem.Ladies can decide to change when they are in love, it is a decision born out of love And not to deceive or pretend. Seriously!!! I'd go all out to be who you want me to be And you'd end up calling me a pretender, I go vex gan!!!! But if na guy aaaarghhh!!! They can even be meek and romantic when they have an an agenda.Anyway. I think men get that kain time, they even plan such with their friends. Reminds of a meme one time, "may thunder strike my boyfriend's friends that call me 'our wife' knowing he has several others' I just think its a guy thing and It's easier for them too and somehow, they are proud about it.
They can even be meek and romantic when they have an an agenda.
So @ topic,If you re-phrase the question to "Who lies more", this survey will take on a whole new life!Because, think of it, pretense is a form of lie.Okay, I'd say that the genders have almost an inverse relationship when it comes to lies.A man may lie about his income, property or possession; while a woman may lie about the true father of her children!A man may "play dead" just to get into a woman's secure zones; while a woman would NEVER in a million years admit to crushing on her husband's friend or brother. The worst thing that can happen if a lady finds out that the guy was only acting to have his way with her is that she gets hurt (may even get pregnant if she is not careful); while the worst thing that can happen from a woman secretly eyeing her husband's friend is total breakdown of the marriage (and even murder if emotions run amok). Two sides of the same evil coin! All I'd therefore say is WATCH OUT!
You really made some very crucial points and i find it hard to have second thought on it. Nevertheless everybody have their own lapses, both sides pretends but you refused to admit that ladies as well but instead you turned it to ladies advantage that they change not that they pretend purposely because of the love they might have for the guy. Pretending and changing are two different word with different mean, if that is the reason for ladies that they are not pretending guys change as well because of a particular lady. So everyone knows how to change for love when it comes to that, what if i tell you that ladies change mostly if they see a serious guy that is ready to marry them and they have really seen his commitment towards the relationship. Guys pretends most when it comes to living an extravagant life and background but ladies pretend most on familiarity(claiming to have access to what they are not up to) and background as well just like Jenifa . If the relationship is based on true love, i don't see any reason for pretending . Naijaria both parties pretend................
people 'pretend' to change. And why pretend to av access to what you don't have access to? Hehehe. It's silly cos its a lie that can't hold. So I think you watch too many movies jo