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Save me from committing murder, ” divorce-seeking man tells court: Family : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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Save me from committing murder, ” divorce-seeking man tells court

By: dayan (M) |Time : February 10, 2020, 03:54:38 PM
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A 55-year-old businessman, Mr Chike Eze, on Monday prayed a Customary Court in Igando, Lagos to dissolve his marriage with wife, Racheal, “to save him from committing murder’’.

The petitioner alleged that Racheal, had become a thorn in the flesh for two years.

“She is pushing me to the wall. If I should retaliate, I will kill her.

“I don’t want to kill her, so that I will not be charged to court for murder. The best option is for the court to end our marriage so that we can go our separate ways.

“She always hits me with dangerous weapons in which I sustain wounds.

“Rachael fights and rains curses on me everyday. She once deflated my car tyres and tore my clothes to pieces on several occasions.

“The last time, she picked up a standing mirror and threw it at me.

”The mirror landed on me and caused severe injuries on my leg. I have several scars on my body as a result of her assault on me,’’ he said.

He presented pictures of the injuries and scars to the court as evidences.

He said that his wife goes out on different occasions without his consent and whenever he queried her, she would say that she owns her body and could do anything with it.

However, Rachael, denied all the allegations.

She accused her husband of infidelity.

“My husband is having an affair with my friend. I begged him to end the relationship but he refused.

“My husband had two wives and children before he married me, it was the same beating that made the other wives to run for their lives.

”My husband is a drunk and whenever he is drinks, he will vomit and urinate everywhere in the house,” she alleged.

Rachael urged the court not to end their marriage that she still loved her husband.

However, the court president, Mr Adeniyi Koledoye, granted the prayer of the petitioner and dissolved the marriage.

Koledoye held that since the petitioner insists on divorce after several interventions, the court was left with no option other than to grant Eze his prayer.

“The court, hereby, pronounces the marriage between Mr Chike and Rachael Eze dissolved and both henceforth cease to be husband and wife.

“Each of you should go your separate ways unmolested, the court wishes both of you well in your future endeavor.

“The petitioner is to pay severance of N150,000 to his wife for her to move on with her life,” Koledoye ruled.

(NAN)

Re: Save me from committing murder, ” divorce-seeking man tells court

By: dayan (M) |Time : February 10, 2020, 04:24:35 PM
Some statements from the two parties throw light on what is really happening.

First statement:

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Mr Chike Eze, on Monday prayed a Customary Court in Igando, Lagos to dissolve his marriage with wife, Racheal, “to save him from committing murder’’.

This statement translates that the man is being provoked to PHYSICAL VIOLENCE by his wife.

Quote
“She is pushing me to the wall. If I should retaliate, I will kill her.

“I don’t want to kill her, so that I will not be charged to court for murder. The best option is for the court to end our marriage so that we can go our separate ways.

I'd say he is essentially trying to avoid the worst. He wants to cut his loses and move on rather than making the situation worse and losing more in the end.

Quote
“She always hits me with dangerous weapons in which I sustain wounds.

“Rachael fights and rains curses on me everyday. She once deflated my car tyres and tore my clothes to pieces on several occasions.

“The last time, she picked up a standing mirror and threw it at me.

”The mirror landed on me and caused severe injuries on my leg. I have several scars on my body as a result of her assault on me,’’ he said
.

Nothing provokes a man to dangerous violence like being attacked by anybody, be it man or woman. But in the case of being attacked by a woman, it becomes EXCEEDINGLY DANGEROUS in our part of Africa where men don't want to be seen as weak. It may be condoned and accepted elsewhere; In Nigeria (particularly Igboland), it would not be accepted, and these are Igbo couple.

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He said that his wife goes out on different occasions without his consent and whenever he queried her, she would say that she owns her body and could do anything with it.

This appears like an infidelity dimension to the problem. She apparently retaliates on his infidelity as her own statements below show. But retaliatory infidelity NEVER pays a woman well. Methinks that women always lose in such situations. You can believe otherwise though.

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She accused her husband of infidelity.

“My husband is having an affair with my friend. I begged him to end the relationship but he refused
.


What the man is accused of here is morally wrong and very insulting because women HATE when their husbands mess with their friends. They may take it if other women are involved; but friends? HELL NO!
So, she blew her fuses when he did this.

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“My husband had two wives and children before he married me, it was the same beating that made the other wives to run for their lives.

She appears to be using his part failures (by failure I mean DIVORCE of past wives) to blackmail and prejudge his actions in this marriage. BTW this is part of why I support polygyny, because if this man had those other wives, I strongly doubt that he will find the space and time to be running after his wife's friend. But that is story for another day.

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”My husband is a drunk and whenever he is drinks, he will vomit and urinate everywhere in the house,” she alleged.

A very DISGUSTING habit which could have been caused by ANYTHING including cantankerous wife's conduct.
Maybe this is his way of escape from the marriage situations he created for himself. He doesn't know how to deal with marriage issues; so he drinks.
For me, this is the strongest proof that the man needs some form of alcohol rehabilitation treatment to break him free from addiction.

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Rachael urged the court not to end their marriage that she still loved her husband.

THIS is the clearest indication from the story that the man is not as bad as she had painted him earlier. If he was that bad, she would have rejected EVERYTHING concerning him and would want to run away from him.
She may also be doing so due to fear of losing financial support, but I know that women run from men who pose REAL dangers to them regardless of financial gains.


Quote
However, the court president, Mr Adeniyi Koledoye, granted the prayer of the petitioner and dissolved the marriage.

Koledoye held that since the petitioner insists on divorce after several interventions, the court was left with no option other than to grant Eze his prayer.

This is an EXCELLENT ruling by the judge.

This marriage is a wrecking ball and ANYTHING can happen in it.

HOWEVER, if the woman still loves her husband, and wants to reconstitute the marriage, I think her best move would be to still stick around the man, and offer him help both physical (as in begging him to go for alcohol treatment), and spiritual (as in conducting SERIOUS prayers for him).

Men ALWAYS value women who love them in situations of difficulty. The clearest way for her to claim and keep him as her husband is to NEVER EVER quit him as long as he does not pose physical (or otherwise) dangers to her.

Marriage is a DIFFICULT and BEAUTIFUL thing.

People in it should always protect and nurture it, because there are always forces working 24/7 to break it.

He (or she) who has ears ...

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