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Date: March 21, 2019, 07:27:29 PM


My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage: Family : - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum


My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage

By: dayan (M) |Time : July 02, 2016, 02:59:00 AM
My husband’s friend is destroying our marriage

By Aunty Julie

My husband of two years is very sociable and has many close friends that we meet up with for dinner. But he also has clingy friend who comes to our home every Friday and stays until Sunday afternoon. I am often lying around in very little or feeding our baby. One morning he bumped into  me naked in the bathroom. I feel as though my privacy is being invaded. My husband just expects me to chat to him but I am getting angry and we end up having huge fights. If I blame my husband, his friend jumps in and ticks me off.

When we went to his house he put on a pornographic film and both he and my husband started grinning at me. Even on our first anniversary supper this man turned up at the restaurant and joined us for coffee. My husband  promises to talk to him but nothing has changed. He texts and telephones my husband every day. This man is nice and he loves our daughter, but I feel as if I am in competition with him for my husband’s attention. How can I stop him coming around all the time.

Anonymous, Lagos

Dear Anonymous,

Neither your husband nor his friend are being fair to you. To use Princess Diana’s much quoted phrase, there are three of us in this marriage. No wife would want another man there   all weekend, leaving her little time to be with her husband. It is difficult enough to find time to just be a couple when there is a new baby, let alone when there is someone else there all the time. So talk to your husband once more and ask him to tell his friend that you want more time as a couple.

It would be fine if he stayed over once a month or came for supper sometimes, but not nearly so frequently. If your husband does nothing then you should talk to his friend yourself. Explain that you like him but you want more time as a couple. You could offer to find him a girlfriend to keep him occupied . He should definitely not be joining you on your next wedding anniversary. I assume your husband and this man are not in a relationship.

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