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Date: July 09, 2020, 11:49:23 AM


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Men: Simple Steps to Not Being a Wife Beater

By: dayan (M) |Time : November 12, 2018, 06:40:53 PM
The prevalence of wife beating is getting worse in Nigeria these days as women assert themselves more in the socioeconomic and cultural space. More and more men are feeling “powerless” over women’s choices of actions. Some men who cannot accept such changes resort to violence. It doesn’t have to be so.

Not to waste time discussing the cultural evolution that led to where we are today, it is very possible to never be a wife beater no matter the circumstance, provocation, or situation.

However, a man needs to DELIBERATELY PLAN AHEAD never to be a wife beater to succeed.
From life experience I came up with the following three simple rules to not being a wife beater. All the steps are preventive in nature.

If you follow them to the last letter you will likely succeed.

(1) Be a disciplined man:

By this I mean that you should vow to never be swayed too much by a woman’s beauty. This insures that you do not end up marrying the wrong woman.

This does not mean that you should not look at beautiful women. Be totally free to look at beautiful women and in your mind praise God for his wonderful works.

Anytime I see a beautiful woman, my first instinct after admiring her is to IMMEDIATELY remember that God created her like that -for a purpose (which is a good purpose).

Then bearing that in mind, it becomes relatively easier to situate her in the general scope of life.
I look, admire, praise God, and then move on! I never get to the stage of imagining her in my bed.
That is THE  big red line. I simply NEVER let it get to that stage in my mind.

This strategy has worked wonders for me such that even when some of such women give “green light” to me, I simply remember that I had situated her in God’s general creation which really means that I can only “be with her” in obedience to God’s law, and so, I dodge the advances.

This has worked for me. Once God is attached to the situation, it is fairly easier to gain dominion over it and defeat the lust that accompany over-thinking the woman.

Once you marry a woman because she is beautiful alone, you lose  the fight ab initio.
Some men make the mistake of hounding beautiful women into marrying them, but then later begin to want to subdue them or “to bring them under control”. That horse bolted the very day you knelt down to propose to her and beg her to marry you! So, please don’t beat her!

(2) Find out whether she is a whore first:

This is pretty much straight forward. The reality of life is that some women are whores and there is nothing anyone can do to change them.

Now, I believe that every woman has a husband that God destined for her. Yes, even whores have husbands God wants them to marry. She may have to share a husband through in a polygynous marriage, but she still has a husband.

If you don’t want to marry her, just move on and find someone who is not a whore.

And oh, they don’t have “whore” written on their faces all the time.
I have watched reality shows about paternity test on children that showed women who you would vouch for that they can never sleep with a man other than their husbands, but are in fact secret whores.

In one of such show that I watched, this “strict woman” (the type that you find in some strict religious settings) kept saying that she only had sex with her husband within the window of conception that led to a child who was now forty-something years old. She kept denying until the DNA result come out to prove that she was in fact having sex with other men at the time of conceiving her child.
She in fact slept with 6 men within one week! If you do the math it means that she could have potentially slept with hundreds of men in one single year. And this happened “back in the day” (ie forty-some years back!). Now imagine what happens these days.

Now, this is a silent whore, the type that a man can get angry about and beat up. BUT the man was supposed to do his home work first BEFORE marrying her. If the man failed to do that, the only acceptable thing to do after such information came out is to divorce her. Simple.
Beating her is unacceptable.

Lastly, there are men who would prefer to marry a whore. Many men have wives who are known to be whores and the men don’t care one bit. Other people get offended on the men’s behalf but the men simply live with their wives in peace. They don’t mind at all. That is life: To each his own.

The point here is that a man must know the type of a woman he planned to marry BEFORE taking her home to be his wife.

(3) Simply vow to never beat your wife no matter what:

Again this is simple and straight forward.
Imagine that she is your mother or sister. Would you beat her up?
 Most normal boys stop beating their sisters by the age of 13. Why should a grown man beat up ANY woman? It is demeaning to the male gender IMHO.
I don’t think that there is a better time to “man up” than when provoked by a female.

So, give it a try and practice it. If you however cannot help yourself, then you should NOT have a wife. It is perfectly okay to never marry.

I hope this helps.


Re: Men: Simple Steps to Not Being a Wife Beater

By: Gideon |Time : November 13, 2018, 02:50:37 AM
The number one mentioned here is not easy, but with determination it can be done. When offended by the wife,it is best to walk away and go away to calm down before coming back to resolve issues in a calm manner.

Re: Men: Simple Steps to Not Being a Wife Beater

By: alagbe003 (M) |Time : November 13, 2018, 01:06:29 PM
When provoked or put under pressure by a woman it is easier to crack and flair up, but it takes grace of God to manage one's temper, men should learn to be more calm and not easily provoked and never react by physically assaulting the woman

Re: Men: Simple Steps to Not Being a Wife Beater

By: dayan (M) |Time : March 20, 2019, 10:49:59 PM
Useful thread packed with great tips!
One of those "inspired" pieces.

Re: Men: Simple Steps to Not Being a Wife Beater

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : March 23, 2019, 09:30:31 PM

That is life: To each his own.

The point here is that a man must know the type of a woman he planned to marry BEFORE taking her home to be his wife.

This is gospel!

I believe there's no prototype that can take care of the whole stuff when the issue of relationship and marriage are discussed. As that "perfect" union you admire so much has its own fair share of rumblings underneath the glamour likewise the marriage which makes you dread marriage has its good moments too (may be few but they are there).

All I'm saying is: know yourself, build yourself, know your partner, understand each other... Above all, love each other and  :P have good sex...

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