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Date: September 20, 2019, 09:17:23 AM

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I am fed up with her catankerous nature, husband tells court: Family : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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I am fed up with her catankerous nature, husband tells court

By: dayan (M) |Time : August 23, 2019, 06:54:47 PM
A businessman, Olalekan Akingbade on Friday urged a Customary Court in Badagry, near Lagos, to dissolve his marriage because he was fed up with his wife’s cantankerous nature.

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Akingbade, 46, who lives at 47 Agunmajayi Eyenkole St., Oko-Afo in Badagry, said his wife had picked fights with him for no just reasons more than 15 times in three years.

“My lord, my wife was selling beer when I met her in 2015. We married same year, but no dowry was paid; though I have met  her father and mother.

“The marriage is blessed with a three-year-old daughter, Bolanle.

“But since I married Aminat my lord, I have not had rest of mind. We have gone to my father-in-law on several occasions to settle misunderstandings.

“Each time we went to meet him, he always warned my wife that if he happened to be her husband, he would not take the nonsence from her.

“I have tried all I could to make her change, but she hasn’t my lord.

“When she told me that she wanted to change her business, I gave her N500,000 and rented a shop for her, still she was not contented,” he said.

Akingbade urged the court to dissolve the marriage on the grounds of frequent fighting, threat to life, no rest of mind and no more love.

He pleaded with the court to give him custody of the only child.

Responding, Aminat, 33, a business woman, however, appealed to the court not to dissolve the marriage, adding that she was still in love with Akingbade.

She attributed her frequent fights with her husband to his infidelity; stressing “my husband is a womanizer who always goes around with different ladies and that is our bone of contention.

“I will not fight him again, my lord,” the respondent said.

The President of the court, Mr Shakirudeen Adekola, adjourned the case until Sept.3 for judgement.
(NAN)

Re: I am fed up with her catankerous nature, husband tells court

By: dayan (M) |Time : August 23, 2019, 07:18:49 PM
Quote
Akingbade urged the court to dissolve the marriage on the grounds of frequent fighting, threat to life, no rest of mind and no more love.

Quote
Responding, Aminat, 33, a business woman, however, appealed to the court not to dissolve the marriage, adding that she was still in love with Akingbade.

She attributed her frequent fights with her husband to his infidelity; stressing “my husband is a womanizer who always goes around with different ladies and that is our bone of contention.

“I will not fight him again, my lord,” the respondent said
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This case is not as easy as it seems because there are two genuine issues here: violence and infidelity.

The man says that his wife gives him so much trouble, but the woman says she does so because of his philandering.

I would have said that the judge should not dissolve this marriage, i.e. to give the couple more time, but I also know that violence in marriage can lead to sometimes dangerous and unintended consequences such as serious injury, or death.

Personally, one of the things I vowed early in life never to entertain in my relationships with the opposite sex is violence of any kind. I am so because of cases I knew about as a child where a man beat his wives to death, and another where a woman jumped on her husbands moving car while she fought him trying to stop him leaving. The man whose wife jumped on his car divorced her in an instant, arguing that he didn't want to live with her cantankerous nature.

Therefore, I was always looking out for telltale signs that a woman would be cantankerous starting from the get go. The signs are always there if you look hard enough. People who would be violent always exhibit signs even from the beginning. And JEALOUSY is always the springboard of violence in relationships.

Men who beat their wives do so mainly because of jealousy; while women who fight their husbands always cite womanizing or infidelity -another factor of jealousy.

Lack of fidelity in relationships (marriage in particular) is a SERIOUS issue that couples must have the same worldview on before violence can be avoided.  Ironically, violence can never solve the problem of infidelity.
Compatibility is the only solution, because there are many people who would NEVER resort to violence to address infidelity. A lot would simply divorce or walk away, but never be engaged in violent altercations.

So, I have to say that this marriage is doomed ... unless this woman gets some form of counselling that heals her of rage instincts that lead to violent reactions.
The man should, of course, stop cheating on his wife and learn to respect his marriage. But key to this marriage surviving is the wife learning to contain her anger and to vow nonviolent approach to solving their problems of fidelity.
Wish them luck!

Re: I am fed up with her catankerous nature, husband tells court

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : August 26, 2019, 11:16:19 AM
Methinks hot temper is bad. Jealousy makes it worse.

It's crazy when partners (in marriage especially) have these two issues together. It's dangerous.


In this case, there's threat to life... Pity! Methinks they should split to avoid stories that touch.

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