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Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?: Family : Nigerialog.com - Nigeria's Premier Online Forum

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Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 05:48:58 AM
Dear Bunmi,

I’m an old-fashioned man and like to treat a woman correctly. I have a good job and I recently re-located to the country. I open doors for my girlfriends and hate to see a woman carrying heavy bags.

But I find women don’t accept my chivalry and prefer men who treat them badly. Where am I going wrong? My friends say women prefer the ‘tough’ guys who slap them around. Is this true?

Harry, by e-mail.

 



Dear Harry,

I think you’re trying a little too hard! As a woman, it is wonderful to be treated with kindness and respect, but a little too much protection feels controlling and smothering.

Try to relax a little with your next girlfriend. Take the time to find out who she is, her likes, dislikes, her dreams and disappointments rather than carrying her bags.

Be open and show your strength and weaknesses. People distrust a person who’s too good to be true. Women don’t like ‘roughnecks’ either. Be violent and they’re likely to walk!

Source: Vanguard

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 05:51:20 AM
This is the type of a topic that no man should expect an honest answer from a woman.
Bumni gave a "diplomatic" answer.  :))

I'll return later to give mine...

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 08:02:44 AM
Quote
Be open and show your strength and weaknesses. People distrust a person who’s too good to be true. Women don’t like ‘roughnecks’ either. Be violent and they’re likely to walk!

This is the proverbial "fine line" often talked about by so called experts of relationships and women psychology.

However, in reality, this is not usually the case.

Though women seem mysterious, the truth is that they are NOT.

The problem is that men tend to be too distracted by many factors; so distracted that they miss the CONSTANT messages sent by women during relationships, until it is too late.

To be fair to men, the majority of the consequential messages from women are non-verbal.

She can talk all she likes... never be distracted by that.

Just watch her body language. It says EVERYTHING.

But key to the topic (since this is talking about relationship between a man a woman) is understanding that she expects a "mate". She may say that she wants a companion, but what she really expects is a mate.

And mates have specific ways they behave that separates them from everyone else in her life.

If a woman chooses a man as mate, she would declare that fact using body language.
An observant man would know, but a clueless man would miss the message.

That is why a man would almost kill himself to please a girl, while she is busy eyeing that other guy who may not even be interested in her at all.

That is why a man woke up one day to find out that all his wife's four children were not his.
Na so life be.  :))

So, to conclude, this is a neither here nor there thing.

Just pay attention to what a woman's body language is saying and DON'T interfere in that process of her "speaking" or you will miss it, and wake up like the man above holding an empty bag.

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 08:29:06 AM
This last point above needs repeating:

DON'T INTERFERE in the process of a woman "speaking" honestly about her preferences, which is usually by body language.

I need to say this because I've seem a lot of men trying to interfere... to stop a woman dumping them.
It never ends well.

Some men, once they notice a change in a woman's attitude, they try to interfere somehow... example, call to ask what he did wrong, buy her gift to say sorry (for whatever wrong done), call her on phone or send messages constantly, sending friends over to her to plead their case ... and many other things men do to "win" over a woman as if she is some kind of trophy.

You Mr A may win her today, but if her body language says that Mr B is THE mate, be rest assured that she will sleep with Mr B any opportunity she gets, regardless of your interventions.

Women are NOT sentimental with such things. A camel would first pass through the eye of the needle before you stop a woman from having sex with THAT man she wants. The only thing that will stop it is the man she wants saying no.

If you are "lucky" your interference with her decision would make her belie the real thing and string you along, until you find out the truth later with your devastating heartbreak in tow.

One last point about offending a woman and making restitution.

If you offend a woman lover , she will tell you in a way that doesn't change her body language that identify you as her preferred mate.

From personal experience, the ONLY time a man can really offend a female lover, is if or when she suspects that he is eyeing another woman. She can forgive a WHOLE LOT of things as long as he is still delivering on love she wants.
She can take a lot of crap (sorry to say this but it is true) from him. That is why some men abuse some women.

For a woman to dump a "bad man", she has to first drop her feelings for him, which is not always easy, particularly as the man has been delivering on her love expectations.
Sad truth.

Now you know.

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 08:46:02 AM
Understand what you got... Each relationship is exclusively unique; I repeat - each relationship is exclusively unique. Know who your partner is, what she wants, understand her (as much as you can).

If you go to a mall and get yourself the "Coldwater" starch and you treat it like the "hotwater" starch - you will end up disappointed. Likewise if it is a "hotwater" starch but you prepare it with cold water - it's disappointing too.

Don't just look at your neighbor's relationship - there's a reason what he does works for him... It's probably what his woman wants (or part of the "crap" she can take). If you try to copy same, your own woman might detest such - a big mess.

Know who you are in bed with (at least try). If that's too much for you to do, you ain't worth shit.

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: Ramjoe (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 10:40:22 AM
Understand what you got... Each relationship is exclusively unique; I repeat - each relationship is exclusively unique. Know who your partner is, what she wants, understand her (as much as you can).

If you go to a mall and get yourself the "Coldwater" starch and you treat it like the "hotwater" starch - you will end up disappointed. Likewise if it is a "hotwater" starch but you prepare it with cold water - it's disappointing too.

Don't just look at your neighbor's relationship - there's a reason what he does works for him... It's probably what his woman wants (or part of the "crap" she can take). If you try to copy same, your own woman might detest such - a big mess.

Know who you are in bed with (at least try). If that's too much for you to do, you ain't worth shit.


Hehehehe... I was thinking...

Lemme add this bit - overdo no good o...

When you notice the stuff your lady wants, don't be excessive about it. Don't choke her! She's her own person.

You get it bah?

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: alagbe003 (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 10:58:46 AM
I have learnt a lot here, but what I know is a lady will love you regardless of your behavior, I think it's more down to an hormone. All animals exhibit this hormones, you see some ladies say I don't just like that man it's because the hormone he produces is not compatible with the lady.

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 07:26:59 PM

Hehehehe... I was thinking...

Lemme add this bit - overdo no good o...

When you notice the stuff your lady wants, don't be excessive about it. Don't choke her! She's her own person.

You get it bah?

A word is enough for the wise.  :))

Re: Do girls prefer ‘bad’ men?

By: dayan (M) |Time : May 02, 2019, 08:11:23 PM
One more thing I need to add to my earlier posts above is that change is a constant part of life.

Change happens EVERYWHERE, including in ..."love" (I put love in quotes because I really meant sexual relationship between opposite sexes).

Women, though they are more stable than men when it comes to choosing mates (again by "mate" I mean sexual mate), are also perfectly capable of finding themselves loving (or wanting) more than one man at a particular time in their lives.

She may have been with Mr A, and then one day Mr B comes along, and she feels stronger attraction towards Mr B.
How she handles that, is what separates "wife material" woman from others of the "slay queen" category.

A wife material would control herself "sacrificially", and remember her commitment to Mr A, and would actually do her level best to avoid getting herself in compromising position (where all women's resistance to sex proves futile) with Mr B.

THIS POINT IS CRITICAL information that men MUST understand about women in general.

This point would prove invaluable when a man is contemplating whether to forgive a girlfriend or wife who slipped with a man. And at that point of forgiveness, the man must decide whether he can live with his woman falling again for the same man in the future.

If he can't remotely accept the chance that it can happen again, the best bet is to separate or divorce.
There are no sentimental elements to sexual attraction. It is what it is.

I've seen a lot of situations where women of high moral standing in society did some strange sexual thing that baffles everyone. Women, like men, are human beings!

So, before I digress too much, here is the point again...

Women, though they are more stable than men, can also change mates. And when they do, their body language speaks LOUDLY about that fact.

As long as a man is very observant of his woman (just being observant, NOT monitoring or stalking her), he will not miss her body language saying there is another man in her "orbit".
That orbit can be that she is still eyeing him, or that he has already scored her.

Once a man notices that change, his best bet is to call his woman, sit her down and CALMLY ask her persistently (not badgering or shouting or threatening her ) who the new man is.

Of course she would deny at first, especially if the couple had been together for long; but if the man continues asking calmly and reassuringly, she may open up. 

Statements like "don't worry I just want to know who is making my girl glow like this so that I can go learn his tricks" (any statement along these lines that tells her that you are only asking so that you can learn from the guy) may do the trick.
The psychology of this is that the man is agreeing with her heart drift/choice (NOT countering it).
Women HATE their men when they try to put down the man they are eyeing in any way. Or when the man is trying to "talk morals" into her, to dissuade her from her drift. She is an adult and knows the consequences of her actions, but if she thinks that the other man is worth it, she will go for it regardless.
She would blame her man for ANYTHING at that point.

So, the man is advised not to say or do anything that makes her feel like he is trying to stop her moves, or putting down the other guy.
The man should just play dead or play along to get to the truth which would enable him to make an informed decision.
Once she confirms his suspicions, the decision on what to do next becomes his.
 
Hopefully, a man never has to face these kind of situation, but as long as reproduction continues on earth, these things would likely continue.

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